So, I decided to lose weight, let’s say 20 lbs. I read up on how to do it, I selected a plan, bought all the things… and was pumped. The first week goes really well and the scale dipped down a bit. Hurrah!
I decided to keep going with my plan, but at some point during week two I caught myself sitting on the sofa watching television or mindlessly scrolling through social media… eating all the snacks and drinking all the wine.
Now repeat that every few months. But, each time I feel worse and worse. Then, throw all the hope away… because I’m doomed to be uncomfortable in my own body.
Welcome to self-sabotage, friends. It’s sneaky. It’s difficult to pin down. It’s confusing.
And it’s completely derailing your weight loss efforts.
According to Psychology Today, “Behavior is said to be sabotaging when it creates problems and interferes with long-standing goals.”
Uh... what does that really mean? I like to put it a little differently (because I’m also the queen of keeping things simple!) and say this:
Basically, you know what you need to do but you don’t do it. Or you know what you shouldn’t do, but you do it anyway. That’s the simplest way to understand how self-sabotage works.
And hey – if you’re reading this and thinking, “Oh man, I suck! I do that all the time!” Quit it! Getting down on yourself for self-sabotage isn’t going to help anything.
I'd like to point out that self-sabotage applies to lots of things in our lives. Relationships? Oh heck yes! Career goals? Definitely! IT ALL COMES DOWN TO FEAR of the unknown. We know what it's like to be unhappy (in my case TOTALLY miserable), and we are uncomfortable with any new experience... even if it's the best thing for us.
Are You Really Ready to Stop Self-Sabotage?
Back to weight loss (because that's a big goal for me right now)...You say you want to lose weight but you’re not successfully doing it. Chances are you’re feeling discouraged, ashamed and confused. Perhaps you also have diet fatigue (tried every single diet out there and none of them work?) and you lack confidence because you don’t believe in your ability to lose weight.
Ouch. None of us likes those feelings.
The tough reality is that you’re sabotaging your weight loss efforts because of those feelings. In order to overcome sabotaging behaviors, you first have to look at what’s causing the behavior in the first place – and that can get reallllllllly messy!
"If you truly want to lose the weight and keep it off, you’ll have to face your fears."
Here are some of the fears that I have experienced over and over again that kept them from losing the weight and keeping it off:
Fear of being successful. This can look like a fear of outshining a family member, or a fear of really showing up in life.
Fear of failing. Everyone can relate to that! The embarrassment of trying to lose weight and not succeeding can feel overwhelming.
Fear of being imperfect. My friends, if you’re a perfectionist I have some bad news for you: you’ll never do it perfectly. None of us will ever do it perfectly. It’s just how life works. (Ugh! This thought sends me into panic mode... breathe Amy. Breathe).
These fears will manifest differently in everyone’s journey, but the important thing is that you’re able to identify them and really see them for what they are.
If you truly want to lose the weight and keep it off, you’ll have to face these fears. Otherwise, you’re in for many more years of fad diets, unsuccessful attempts at crash dieting, and more misery.
You're NOT Alone!
69.5% of American women are overweight or obese. That tells me that self-sabotage isn’t something to discredit; it’s a serious problem that many people deal with, so please don’t beat yourself up!
So, how do you overcome it?
You have to do the mental work. It's a MUST!
Identify the ways in which you sabotage yourself. They might look like procrastination, avoidance, over-eating, not getting enough sleep.
Name your fears about weight loss. Remember, fears are usually irrational, so when you put them down on paper they might seem silly and that’s okay!
Reach out! Find a support system that will give you the support you need and encourage you to get back to work. (I have the best support system at my disposal... you should call me).
The mental game is the long game. Get unstuck.
I’m diving deep into shadow work this season. I’ve found the nutrition plan that is working for me, and I have the best support network in the world. However, if I don’t get over my self sabotage issues, none of this will matter.
My ultimate dream is to find a way to help others through two of my 4 biggest joys. By coaching others, I will be FORCED to hold myself accountable for my own flaws.
It’s hard not being perfect, but it’s even harder to not feel healthy. I think I’m on my way to evolving into the best version of myself mentally, physically and spiritually.
Stay tuned for more info on what I have in the works!
Love you all!